Even though the holiday season is over, JOYclub and I have decided to treat you with a little gift: a basic guide to bondage accompanied by videos. This tutorial is neither exhaustive nor a formal teaching tool, but it offers a few techniques from my practice that can help spice up your intimate moments.
By Melainya
Melainya is a French artist and performer who graces both the Lyon and international scenes. She began her artistic journey with photography and has explored various realms, including Shibari (Japanese bondage), fetishism, BDSM, and gothic culture. Over the years, she has diversified her activities, incorporating performance art and filming for extreme metal bands. A regular on the underground scene, she frequently presents shows at techno parties, private events, and music festivals. For the past two years, she has also co-organized latex fetish parties in her beloved city.
If you genuinely want to learn Shibari in a comprehensive, academic, and safe manner, I strongly encourage you to take lessons from a reputable rigger or a nearby school. Some good online resources can also supplement these lessons. Practice with someone you trust to share experiences and feedback. If your partner experiences pain or discomfort, undo the ties and try again differently. It's crucial to listen to and respect your model.
The Equipment
For bondage, always use jute or hemp ropes, typically 6 to 8mm in diameter and 8m long, with minimal treatment. These can be easily found ready-made for bondage from associations or dedicated websites. They are traditional, skin-friendly, and non-stretchable.
Avoid nylon ropes sold on some BDSM sites; they are elastic, which can cause knots to tighten or loosen and increase the risk of rope burn. Ideally, keep a pair of nurse scissors (scissors with blunt ends) nearby in case of any difficulty, discomfort, or panic. You can quickly cut the ropes and free your partner, providing peace of mind for everyone involved.
Basic Ties and Techniques
In my view, three key things can help you perform bondage as a beginner:
- A basic knot that serves as a starting point
- Learning how to handle the rope to create effective ties on the other person’s body
- A final knot to secure the tie and finish the rope
Before starting any tie, fold the rope in half and use the middle loop as the starting point. Work with two strands of rope, ensuring they are evenly folded by checking the ends.
A Basic Knot for Tying Two Parts Together
This knot is very useful for beginners as it is simple with practice. It allows you to tie two parts of the body together, such as wrists or ankles. This tie alone can create a sense of restraint. Have your model assist you by positioning their hands parallel and slightly apart. Wrap the rope around the wrists twice, from the inside (close to the model) to the outside (towards you). After two wraps, cross the rope in the middle and let it fall between the hands. Retrieve it on the other side, ensuring you have one strand in each hand. Finish with a simple knot, tight enough to hold but not to constrict, then add a second, tighter knot for security.
Ensure your model’s hands are well-secured but with some space between the rope and the skin, and that the knot is not too low on the hands.
Handling the Rope
Once the first body part is tied, you can constrain the other as desired. Each model is different, so test what works. Keep the double rope in hand and make loops around their body, positioning their hands accordingly. Experiment with different directions and tensions, moving slowly and then faster. This will help you find the right tension, firm enough to hold but not too tight to cause discomfort.
The untying process is also important, so take your time and do it gently, maintaining some tension to prevent the rope from falling abruptly. Use this moment to explore the sensuality of the contact. Remember, it’s about the journey, not just the destination.
Finishing the Rope, the Final Knot
The question “How do I secure my rope at the end?” often puzzles beginners, and the answer is not straightforward. It depends on the location and remaining rope length. Here’s a suggestion: cross the rope, pass it underneath, then over, and find a point to tie off. For example, take one strand of the rope, wrap it around, create a snail-shell-like spiral, pass the remaining rope through the loop, and tighten to secure. Use every centimeter of the rope, waiting until the end to finish. If needed, you can also separate the strands and knot them together.
Now it’s your turn! It may seem complex, but don’t get discouraged. Practice until you understand the mechanics.
A big thank you to my model G. FIDALI for lending their wonderful body and to C. RAMIREZ for assisting with the video.
Would you like to try shibari? Join our Shibari group to connect with others!
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