Did you know that it's possible to work on couple communication, trust and self-care through the use of ropes? An expert couple in Shibari, Eira and Victor, gave an initiation workshop for ten lucky JOYclub couples. See what happened!
Cecilia Bizzotto is a sociologist, ambassador and content creator for JOYclub Spain. She speaks about sex and pleasure using a feminist approach, encouraging a destigmatised view of fantasies and different sexualities.
Ropes for Emotional and Relationship Work
At JOYclub, we love to promote events, workshops, talks, gatherings… This October, our content theme has been relationships, couple care, self-awareness, and communication tools. And well, we thought there was no better way to work on all these concepts practically than through the use of ropes.
Didn’t know that bindings could serve this purpose? Well, this is one of the things we learned over the weekend when 10 couples started their Shibari journey: ropes are a tool for communication, for creating strong bonds, for experiencing intense emotions, for learning to manage our feelings…
Don’t believe it? Then you only need to watch the session that Víctor and Eira did for all of us who attended this intensive course and for the more than a thousand viewers who watched it live on Livestream. Whether you were able to watch it live or not, we know you're dying to see the recorded session… Keep reading!
From Torture to Pleasure
It's true that Shibari means different things to different people. For some, it's a tool to enter a therapeutic trance, while others see it as an erotic game associated with BDSM:
What’s clear is that this practice has come a long way from its origins: the Japanese art of torture used to inflict pain on prisoners during the medieval period. And while today it’s a way to connect erotically and emotionally, it remains a risky discipline:
Watch the first part of Eira and Víctor's session!
Here's a little teaser for you.
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Safety in Shibari
Shibari is all about balance and counterbalance. In Shibari, both the person tying (the rigger) and the person being tied (the bottom) are equally important. Therefore, it's crucial to understand that responsibility and consent must come from both parties. In fact, Eira pointed out that the bottom needs to be very aware of their own limits and know how to communicate them. This is part of the bottom's responsibility to their rigger, the session, and their own safety.
During this Shibari intensive, Eira and Víctor taught us some essential tips to get started as safely as possible:
- The rigger is responsible for the bottom’s safety and must never push their limits.
- Likewise, the bottom is responsible for informing the rigger of any discomfort or pain they might feel.
- If, while being tied, you feel a sudden cramp, burning, tingling, or loss of sensation in your skin, you should inform the rigger immediately, as this could indicate a nerve injury.
- Until you have sufficient experience (and depending on each person’s risk profile), it’s not recommended to tie ropes around the head, neck, joints (due to the exposure of nerves and veins), or abdomen (because of the organs). We also need to be mindful of the transmission of STIs if tying intimate areas. But as both instructors explained: "When you know the rules, you can break the rules."
- Every rigger should have a pair of safety scissors on hand to cut the ropes in case of an emergency. However, only cut the ropes after rationally assessing the situation to avoid creating a bigger problem.
Has this article sparked your curiosity about Shibari?
Then explore JOYclub's Bondage section for more sessions and video tutorials and become a part of our UK Shibari group!
Before starting the session...
Víctor shared that, as riggers, before tying someone, we should ask them:
- How are you feeling emotionally today?
- Are you experiencing any physical pain?
- Do you have any conditions like hypermobility, injuries, epilepsy…?
Additionally, Eira pointed out that, as bottoms, we should provide our riggers with as much information as possible, even if it seems trivial: if we've had any surgeries, if we suffer from anxiety, thrombosis, low blood pressure, a tendency to feel dizzy… All of this can help them manage the session better and make the experience as positive as possible.
Photo Gallery: What We Learned in the Shibari Beginner’s Workshop
Photo Gallery about the glossary of what we learned in the Shibari initiation workshop.
Photo Gallery about the glossary of what we learned in the Shibari initiation workshop.
Photo Gallery about the glossary of what we learned in the Shibari initiation workshop.
Photo Gallery about the glossary of what we learned in the Shibari initiation workshop.
Photo Gallery about the glossary of what we learned in the Shibari initiation workshop.
Photo Gallery about the glossary of what we learned in the Shibari initiation workshop.
Stripping emotions between knots
After an intense weekend, full of emotions and learning experiences, Eira and Víctor bared their souls to us in an intimate and beautiful Shibari session. There were tears not only from the rigger and the bottom but also among the spectators. After the necessary aftercare and once everyone was relaxed again, Eira and Víctor shared with us how they experience Shibari and what that session meant for them:
Eira's Experience:
For her, the emotions during a session skyrocket, and she has gone through very intense experiences that have allowed her to better understand herself:
"In one session, I felt self-compassion and forgiveness. I realized that I wasn't forgiving myself for liking what I like, which is the pain of the ropes. So at that moment, I became aware and forgave myself for enjoying Shibari and Víctor for causing me the pain. He's not 'the bad guy' for enjoying my pain; everything we do is consensual. But sometimes, with what society tells us about what should give us pleasure and what shouldn't, it's difficult to accept oneself."
Watch the second part of Eira y Víctor's session here:
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Victor's Experience:
"I go through many moments during a session. This one started out very erotic, very much about observing and listening. Then there were moments of great physical and emotional intensity shared between us. There was a very beautiful moment when I told Eira that she is my home, that I feel at home beside her.
I feel and experience it as if I were water, which can caress gently, but can also hit hard or erode slowly. For me, it's something that requires me to be very aware, it's very stimulating, and I feel very active physically and emotionally. The moment of untying is very special because it's when I gather and experience all the energy of what we've done, which returns. It's the conclusion of the beautiful story we've lived."
Are you attracted by the emotions and pleasure that can be experienced through ropes? Do you have experience in Shibari? Share in the Shibari group!
JOYclub: What is that?
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- Whether you're male, female, trans, single or a couple, JOYclub is the place to discover and live out your erotic fantasies with other members (with your partner, if you like).
- Curious? Then register for free and without obligation and discover the fascinating JOYclub world. We are looking forward to meeting you!
