We all love trying new things. So, when NataliaShibari suggested I experiment with this Japanese technique for the first time, I didn’t hesitate. This is the story of how a Shibari novice discovers the therapeutic, erotic, and aesthetic aspects of this practice.
Cecilia Bizzotto is a sociologist, ambassador and content creator for JOYclub Spain. She speaks about sex and pleasure using a feminist approach, encouraging a destigmatised view of fantasies and different sexualities.
From Samurai Torture to Erotic Art
Shibari is an ancient technique of torture, restraint, and immobilisation inspired by the martial arts of 15th-century Japanese samurais. It involved highly ritualised tying, not meant to cause permanent damage to the prisoner, but to prevent escape. Based on this philosophy and the ritual of old Shibari, a practice was born about 100 years ago with an erotic, artistic, and even therapeutic aim.
Art or Therapy?
This practice is not static; it takes on different forms depending on who ties (the rigger) and who is tied (the rope bunny or bottom). “There are as many types of Shibari as there are practitioners of this discipline,” says NataliaShibari. Some use it in their sexual play, mimicking those medieval samurai tortures, while others do it with a more therapeutic than erotic goal in mind.
For Natalia, “Shibari is a silent communication between two or more people, which can become very deep and even lead to a therapeutic trance.” She explains that after Shibari sessions, some bottoms feel relaxed, and some even feel more empowered, comfortable with their bodies, and stronger in facing their daily problems.
As NataliaShibari uses the effects of this technique to work with the emotions of the person being tied and herself, the pre-session stage is very important. Before anything, she decides together with the bottom what they want to work on: abandonment, sadness, emotional blockages…
During the session, tying is involved, and one can experience pain as long as it is pleasurable pain. Sometimes, it’s a very interesting way to bring the person closer to a trance. However, she emphasises:
The importance of the Bottom
For all these reasons, she argues that we must abandon the recent trend of using the bottom merely as an object for the rigger to showcase their rope skills. In the end, the session is the result of improvisation and agreement between both parties. In her experience, Shibari can help generate a bond of trust much faster and more accurately than any other form of communication:
Cecilia Bizzotto Against the Ropes
I had never been tied nor witnessed a Shibari session before. So when she proposed I be under her ropes, I didn’t hesitate. However, days before, I began to regret it: “What if I look bad on the video? What should I wear? What if I do something wrong?” Fortunately, I let myself go.
One sunny Saturday afternoon, NataliaShibari arrived with her natural fibre ropes under her arm. We had spoken a couple of times on the phone, so I felt safe with her. So, before the natural light faded, we prepared everything for the ropes and suspension.
It all started with a hug. She hugged me with a strength I didn’t imagine she had, while I let myself slip between her arms. First, she gauged the elasticity and relaxation of my muscles, marking her movements firmly so I would let go. I have no problem giving up control, so she did with me as she pleased.
Soon I began to understand what she meant when she talked about this discipline: it’s not just pretty macramé on human bodies; I felt something more. What? Hard to describe. I felt the vigour of her movements, but also her tenderness. The ropes were a constant hug, perhaps an extension of her arms and hands.
At first, I felt my body heavy like a slab, impossible to lift. But in a second, something changed, and I began to fly. While there was a total surrender on my part, to the point that my physical integrity depended on her when she suspended me, I also felt empowered. Hanging from the ropes, I had forgotten those fears about how I would look in the video or my physical appearance. I simply wasn’t thinking about anything, a state of relaxation I rarely achieve. That’s what NataliaShibari meant when she said: “The ropes ground you to the present. It’s a moment when the world disappears and only the person you are tying exists.”
And afterwards? Sexual pleasure. Like when you shower after working out or in the minutes following an orgasm. The tension of the ropes on my body and her squeezing hugs released my endorphins, and I felt only a strange sensation of pleasure, soothing the burning the ropes had caused on my skin.
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