The UK's kink and fetish scene was once a hidden world underground, away from prying eyes and prudish people. However, today we see a bubbling wave of sexual liberation leading to sex positive, kink friendly parties and movements. Whether you're looking for a small, intimate affair, a decadent POC soiré, or a big fat rave, there really is something for everyone. Let's have a look at ways to understand what kind of kinky world you want to be a part of. And ways you can create your own community with JOYclub's help.
By BxSassy
Bethany Burgoyne is a fabulously fluffy, sassy writer, performer and multimedia producer providing educational entertainment for women and non-binary AFAB people. Having founded their own multimedia platform, The Sassy Show, in 2018, Bethany is on a mission to transform the portrayal of women and AFAB people within media, sharing personal narratives of womanhood, sexuality and self identity. They regularly speak on the topics of gendered appearance, sexuality, kink and reproductive health.
Parties and People
Stepping into the world of kink and BDSM is something that, at first, can seem daunting. But underneath the latex and the floggers, the clamps and the chains is a community that thrives from playing together.
Think of the BDSM and kink party scene as a network of private and public events available for you to exercise your curiosity, learn about play, and be surrounded by like-minded people. LAM (London Alternative Market), Pinky Promise and Little Black Book are great places to start that exploration, as well as venues such as Anatomie Studio and Centaur Studios offering classes and meet ups. If it’s big parties you’re looking for then be assured that the sensual party scene is popping. Get to know the queer loving vibes of Quench, Joyride, and Riposte. Or dip into the world of latex lovers at Klub Verboten, The Fox Den and Torture Garden.
Anatomie Studios @anatomiestudiolondon
Pinky Promise @pinkypromise.world
Unfold @fold.ldn
Quench @quench_london
Pornceptual @pornceptual
The Fox Den @thefoxdenclub
Murder Mile @murdermilestudios
Centaur Studios @centaurstudios_hackney
The Box @boxsoho
Little Black Book @littleblackbookparty
For more suggestions on where to go in London, check out our article:
Practicing BDSM in London
Knowing what you want
First off, have a look at what your desires are. Is it a rooftop orgy you’re looking for or a foot workshopping circle? Do you want to play publically with your partner or are you on a solo expedition of checking out the scene? Maybe you're into watching BDSM pros perform or on the hunt for a kinky friendly social over sensual drinks and nibbles. Let your imagination roam and ask yourself what makes you feel comfortable, aroused, and curious.
Considering your ideal party
- Size of party: How many people do you want to be around; is 30 people a good size or would you rather a 300 plus party?
- Sexual Orientation: Who do you want the event to cater for? Hetero/poly/queer/lesbians only etc.
- Play or learn: are you looking to do workshops, be entertained or perhaps its a dungeon you’re looking for?
- Alone or with company: Whether you’re going solo or taking friends/partners, remember that you’re not alone. The likelihood is that after visiting a few munches or parties, you will start to make friends and build your kinky community of fellow BDSM explorers. This is something that makes finding new events a lot easier and can help you feel supported before, during and after the events.
Finding Your Fellow Kinksters
If you're still at the beginning of your journey and not sure what your options are, take a look around you and start asking questions. What have you seen in porn or erotica that made you fascinated? What have your greatest sexual moments been and how could you indulge those senses again? Thinking outside the box is helpful because kink and BDSM is accommodating to the most niche desires. From Goddess workshopping to puppy play, gang bangs to swinging, you're in for a ride!
Once you have an idea in your head of what you're looking for, start the search! Simply type in your fantasy (e.g leather fetish gathering, cosplay, shibari) into a platform like JOYclub and begin exploring the many events and threads discussing certain kinks and fetishes. Within these groups are often people who can help link you to Facebook groups, Instagram pages, WhatsApp channels and Telegram accounts which keep you updated on events, socials, and online discussions. Don't be afraid to reach out and ask questions so others can point you in the right direction - they'll be more than happy to help a kinkster get their kicks!
Remember that there is most likely an event for everything and everyone so get specific. Is it an all latex wearing D&D night? A party for 30 D/s's in a dungeon? A performance of needle play in a castle? And if you are struggling to find the party of your dreams, then why not create your own group? This is something JOYclub helps you do with simple and accessible tools to run your own community on and offline. Suggest the event of your dreams in a location of your choice and submit it for approval. Then get support marketing your event by sharing it on your JOYclub profile and start spreading the word.
Remember to enJOY the ride
There’s nothing more exciting than finding a space that facilitates your fantasies coming true. Be patient in your exploration and remember to keep on tuning into how an idea or experience makes you feel. You’re never contracted to do anything you don’t want to, especially in regards to attending parties. So treat it as a fun adventure and let yourself be surprised along the way.!
Could this guide be helpful in your search for the perfect sex party? Or are you an experienced sex party goer already? Let us know in the forum!
JOYclub: What is that?
- With over 5 million members, JOYclub is a lively, sex-positive community that will turn your love life completely upside down.
- Whether you're male, female, trans, single or a couple, JOYclub is the place to discover and live out your erotic fantasies with other members (with your partner, if you like).
- Curious? Then register for free and without obligation and discover the fascinating JOYclub world. We are looking forward to meeting you!
