Anal sex: For some, it is the fact that it’s considered a "forbidden fruit" or "risqué" which attracts them to this sexual variety. Others describe their orgasms as more intense during anal sex or particularly enjoy the tightness. Would you like to try it out, but are afraid it might hurt or be unhygienic? We'll show you how to make anal sex a comfortable and pleasurable experience.
What makes anal play so exciting?
"Anal play" encompasses all sex acts that revolve around the stimulation of the anus. This includes not only anal sex, but also touching or licking ("rimming") this sensitive hotspot. Enemas and the use of sex toys like butt plugs or anal dildos can also be part of anal play.
Women can experience anal orgasms, as the nerves of the clitoris run through the outside of the vaginal tissue and end near the anus. As the anus is tighter than the vagina and firmly encloses the penis during anal sex, movements lead to a strong stimulation which can make her orgasm. If a man’s anus is being penetrated using a sex toy, finger(s) or penis, this will massage the prostate, which can also lead to strong orgasms.
Tips and tricks for the first time of anal sex
For anal sex, you can use almost all positions you know from „classical" sex where the penis enters the vagina. For some couples, it may take a while until both partners feel ready for anal intercourse. Patience and consideration are essential! We have compiled a few tips to help you fully enjoy anal sex, regardless whether you’re the active or passive partner.
Tip 1: Talk about your reservations
An open discussion between both partners can help you relax before your first time having anal sex. Talk about any difficult feelings or concerns you may have. The greatest concern is often the fear of not being clean enough around the "backdoor".
Without a doubt: Good hygiene plays an important role during anal sex, but thoroughly washing the anus externally is usually all it takes. A balanced diet can also help feeling "safer" regarding bowel activity during anal sex.
Tip 2: Hygiene - don’t overdo it!
Enemas are not only unnecessary before anal sex, they are even discouraged as they can be quite unhealthy (if administered too often). If you rinse the rectum internally, solid bowel contents that would normally be out of reach for the penetrating partner may become soft and slide towards the exit. In the worst of all cases, an enema could lead to the opposite outcome of what you intended.
Tip 3: Create a pleasant atmosphere and take it slow
The right mood is key! A relaxing atmosphere with music, candles and soft light may help you relax for the adventure of anal sex. Of course, there are also couples who feel aroused by the exact opposite, spontaneity. It’s up to you to decide whatever feels good to you!
Tip 4: Ensure deep relaxation
The sphincter muscle needs to be very relaxed before anything can enter. Even a single finger may feel uncomfortable if the muscle is tense. This means that the active partner needs to be patient and act carefully, particularly in the beginning, when the anus is not used to being penetrated.
Tip 5: Good lube is worth its weight in gold during anal sex!
Even though the anus produces its own kind of lubricant, the amounts cannot be compared to those produced by the vagina. That’s why you should use a water-based lube during anal foreplay and intercourse. Without additional lube, anal sex may be painful for both partners.
Tip 6: Be careful and gentle during anal sex
If you feel that you are relaxed enough, let the fun begin! Be careful when penetrating the anus with a penis, you should avoid thrusting too vigorously (at least in the beginning). Give the passive partner time to get used to the unfamiliar feeling. The anus is not like the vagina, it is much more sensitive towards rougher treatment. Nevertheless, some people may enjoy harder thrusting after a short warm-up period. Regular, deep breathing can also help you relax.
By the way: Don’t take yourself too seriously! Just as during vaginal intercourse, when thrusting, the penis is pumping air into the anus. The air will have to escape at some point: a completely natural process which is accompanied by the corresponding noises. As a couple, you should be able to laugh about it and not let it spoil the fun!
Tip 7: Don’t switch between anal and vaginal sex
Even though it is often depicted this way in porn: The penis may not enter the vagina after anal sex without first being thoroughly cleaned. Fecal matter passes through the anus, it contains many bacteria that can wreak havoc on other parts of the body (e.g. the vaginal mucosa) and cause major health concerns.
Anal sex carries a particularly high risk of infection. This concerns not only HIV, other bacteria and viruses can also lead to potentially fatal illnesses if the intestinal mucosa is injured. For this reason – and for the sake of hygiene – it is appropriate to use condoms.
Anal sex: These positions are the best!
As a beginner, it can be a challenge to find the right sex position for anal sex. These are some positions that are quite good in comfortability and accessability:
- Spooning position: To make anal sex as comfortable and pleasant as possible, the passive partner should lie in a comfortable position that doesn’t put too much strain on their legs. Lying down on the belly, the back or in a spooning position is perfect!
- Riding position: If the receiving partner has grown more experienced with anal sex, they can also use the riding position. This means they can take control over the intensity of thrusting. However, a sitting position makes it harder to penetrate the anus, as the sphincter contracts more strongly.
- Doggy style: For experienced lovers of anal, doggy style can be very enticing. It allows for a particularly deep and possibly rougher penetration.
- Sex swings (also known as slings): These kinds of devices are particularly suited for anal sex. A comfortable elevated position in a sex swing allows the receiving partner to completely relax and engage with their lover.
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